Practice What You Preach - If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all

 Relational aggression can be both verbal and nonverbal. Both forms are hurtful and contribute to the break down in healthy relationships. In taking a looking at the verbal side of relational aggression, assaults are not overt. Rather, they fall under the camaflouge of a passing comment, a backhanded compliment, a disapproving remark.

When we hear children speak negatively, we often say: "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." Many kids pass off there negativity by remarking that they are "just being honest" and do not see the impact on those around them.

As a counselor, I like to believe that I set my standards pretty high for not putting others down and treating people with compassion. But I had to ask myself, how are my other comments playing into how I interact with others and how others interact with me. To answer that question, I am going to attempt a bit of an experiement.

I am going to live by the adage:

"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I will closely monitor and document my experiences in following my own advice. I'm also including sarcasm. Yes! Sarcasm is one of the biggest types of verbal aggression and I use it all the time in a "playful" manner. The problem is not everyone sees sarcasm as playful!


Let's see how this plays out tomorrow!


-Heather